• Vongola X ; 8:34 PM, Thursday, July 22, 2010
Me Time: I Write. [Part 3]
I promise. This will be the last time I'll angst you.
Yes. I'm still angstin' Tsuna. And I think this will be the last time I'll do this. I think... AND YES. I AM OPEN FOR REQUESTS. JUST PM ME on my FB or put it in the tagbox.
I knew it was wrong.
I knew it was sinful.
I knew it was immoral.
But it felt good.
Your body against mine.
Your hand on my face.
Is it a sin to love you?
Aftermath
A lie.
That’s what it is.
A relationship with lies as its foundations.
It was a pretense.
A façade to tell the others that he’s not hurting inside.
That he doesn’t actually like the other girl anymore.
Months have passed.
Months turned into years
Two years.
They were able to keep up the lie.
He knew she wouldn’t mind.
She loved him.
And they were friends.
And the other girl told them that she was getting married.
His chest constricted all of a sudden.
Tears formed in her eyes.
Both of them were hurting all over again.
He was hurting because he knew the other girl couldn’t be his.
She was hurting because she knew he wouldn’t glance at her.
Their eyes were blind, and so are their hearts.
She thought that after all those times that they were together, he’d move on.
That after showering him with affection, he’d love her back.
That after giving him all of her, he’d glance her way.
But she was wrong.
No.
He thought that being with her, he’d be able to move on completely.
That just by seeing her smile, he’d smile back at her.
That by holding her hands, he’d be able to mend his heart.
But he was wrong.
Was he wrong?
He doesn’t want to attend.
She doesn’t want either.
But the others might suspect.
And so they went.
With his hand on her waist.
And fake smiles plastered on their faces.
He thought that he was the only one who was in pain.
He didn’t notice the longing looks she would send his way.
He was selfish.
He didn’t think about her.
It was all about him.
She thought she can have him all to herself.
She didn’t take account the looks he would still send to the other girl.
She was greedy.
She didn’t think about him.
It was all about her.
More time passed.
It was tiring.
They couldn’t keep up anymore.
They don’t want to lie anymore.
It was draining them.
The pretense.
The charade.
It was blinding them.
She decided to end it.
She’s had enough of it.
She can’t take the pain anymore.
He decided to make it real.
He wanted her to be legally his.
He can’t take the longing anymore.
But it was too late.
The damage was beyond repair.
She had given up.
But he won’t.
He’s been blind enough.
He won’t let her go too.
It was too late for the both of them.
She had left already.
With tears in her eyes.
And regrets weighing on her shoulder.
She’s been blind enough.
She has to let him go.
They were both fools.
Thinking that everything revolved around them.
Selfish.
Greedy.
But it wasn’t their fault.
It wasn’t their fault that they fell in-love.
They just have to learn their lesson.
Stop chasing the person in front of you. Look back and let the person chasing you catch up.
Sometimes, it is better to be chased than to chase.
She was gone.
He wanted to chase after her for a change.
But will she let him?
He chased after her.
She wanted to push him away.
But can she?
Sometimes, dealing with the aftermath of your actions is much harder than dealing with the actions itself.
I knew it was sinful.
I knew it was immoral.
But it felt good.
Your body against mine.
Your hand on my face.
Is it a sin to love you?
Aftermath
A lie.
That’s what it is.
A relationship with lies as its foundations.
It was a pretense.
A façade to tell the others that he’s not hurting inside.
That he doesn’t actually like the other girl anymore.
Months have passed.
Months turned into years
Two years.
They were able to keep up the lie.
He knew she wouldn’t mind.
She loved him.
And they were friends.
And the other girl told them that she was getting married.
His chest constricted all of a sudden.
Tears formed in her eyes.
Both of them were hurting all over again.
He was hurting because he knew the other girl couldn’t be his.
She was hurting because she knew he wouldn’t glance at her.
Their eyes were blind, and so are their hearts.
She thought that after all those times that they were together, he’d move on.
That after showering him with affection, he’d love her back.
That after giving him all of her, he’d glance her way.
But she was wrong.
No.
He thought that being with her, he’d be able to move on completely.
That just by seeing her smile, he’d smile back at her.
That by holding her hands, he’d be able to mend his heart.
But he was wrong.
Was he wrong?
He doesn’t want to attend.
She doesn’t want either.
But the others might suspect.
And so they went.
With his hand on her waist.
And fake smiles plastered on their faces.
He thought that he was the only one who was in pain.
He didn’t notice the longing looks she would send his way.
He was selfish.
He didn’t think about her.
It was all about him.
She thought she can have him all to herself.
She didn’t take account the looks he would still send to the other girl.
She was greedy.
She didn’t think about him.
It was all about her.
More time passed.
It was tiring.
They couldn’t keep up anymore.
They don’t want to lie anymore.
It was draining them.
The pretense.
The charade.
It was blinding them.
She decided to end it.
She’s had enough of it.
She can’t take the pain anymore.
He decided to make it real.
He wanted her to be legally his.
He can’t take the longing anymore.
But it was too late.
The damage was beyond repair.
She had given up.
But he won’t.
He’s been blind enough.
He won’t let her go too.
It was too late for the both of them.
She had left already.
With tears in her eyes.
And regrets weighing on her shoulder.
She’s been blind enough.
She has to let him go.
They were both fools.
Thinking that everything revolved around them.
Selfish.
Greedy.
But it wasn’t their fault.
It wasn’t their fault that they fell in-love.
They just have to learn their lesson.
Stop chasing the person in front of you. Look back and let the person chasing you catch up.
Sometimes, it is better to be chased than to chase.
She was gone.
He wanted to chase after her for a change.
But will she let him?
He chased after her.
She wanted to push him away.
But can she?
Sometimes, dealing with the aftermath of your actions is much harder than dealing with the actions itself.
The other girl= Sasagawa Kyoko
He/him/his= Sawada Tsunayoshi
She/her= Daidouji Rin
And I think I'll go back angstin' the guy whom I love to angst, Ahodera. :3
(Gokudera: Damn you, woman! I'm going to blow you up!)
(Me: Chaaaa! -runs away- Tasukede, Shi-kun!)
And I bet you're thinking why do I keep on using Rin as my OC. Let me tell you this hun, I am an eternal lazy bum, and therefore I am lazy to think up of another OC for Tsuna-fish. And truth to be told, Rin-chan is for Shi-kun, not Ahodera and Tsuna-fish, but meh. >.>
(Gokudera: Damn you, woman! I'm going to blow you up!)
(Me: Chaaaa! -runs away- Tasukede, Shi-kun!)
And I bet you're thinking why do I keep on using Rin as my OC. Let me tell you this hun, I am an eternal lazy bum, and therefore I am lazy to think up of another OC for Tsuna-fish. And truth to be told, Rin-chan is for Shi-kun, not Ahodera and Tsuna-fish, but meh. >.>
And why am I angstin' Tsuna-fish? I have no idea too, but the plotbunny won't leave me alone. I know, I know. I better make a fluff for Tsuna, but meh, the next man who's humping on my mind right now is Shi-kun. GYAAA! I dun wanna angst him too! I need a hug! \(^w^)/
And I have no idea why my writing style changed all of a sudden. Maybe I'm just getting tired of writing like the usual.
And I have no idea why my writing style changed all of a sudden. Maybe I'm just getting tired of writing like the usual.
Date: July 22, 2010
Time: 8: 34 PM
Labels: Daidouji Rin, me time, Sawada Tsunayoshi, writing
• Vongola X ; 9:47 PM, Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Me Time: I Write. [Part 2]
I am so sorry Tsuna-fish. I won't angst you anymore. -huggles-
I am the queen of procrastination and so I surprised myself that I managed to finish this within 30 minutes. The damn plotbunny won't leave me alone. >.> I'm in my writing mood right now and I don't know how long it'll last.
It hurts.
To see him completely smitten with the girl who doesn’t even love him back.
It aches.
To realize that he won’t return the feelings that you have for him.
It kills.
To learn that he almost took his life when he couldn’t handle the pain.
That’s How You Get By
He’s changed.
He knows it. She knows it. Heck, everyone knows it.
He’s not the same fumbling boy anymore, and that’s what hurts her.
He’s gained this confident aura around him.
At first, she was happy for him, saying that he’s matured now.
But right now, she’s not sure if she’s still happy about it.
Before, he used to come to her for advice
But now, he makes his decision without even confiding it to her.
Before, he runs to her for help.
But now, he doesn’t even tell her that he’s in danger.
No.
Sawada Tsunayoshi isn’t the same Tsuna before.
He isn’t the Dame-Tsuna anymore.
Probably because of Reborn’s training.
Or because of the fights he had.
But he’s not the only one who’s changed.
Daidouji Rin has changed too.
She isn’t the shy Rin everyone knows.
Probably because of her newly-acquired friends.
Or because of him.
For 10 years, she’s been in-love with him.
For 10 long years she’s waiting for him to reciprocate her feelings.
But for 10 years, all she had is pain and heart ache.
For 10 years, he’s been smitten with her.
No. Maybe even longer.
But after all those years, all he had is heart ache and longing.
It’s not fair.
He’s been in-love with her for more than 10 years now.
He just met her 6 months ago.
And here they are, hand in hand.
It’s not fair.
She loved him ever since she laid eyes on him.
And the other girl doesn’t even glance his way.
And here he is, drinking his sorrows away.
She knew he wouldn’t love her.
She knew that he’s too in-love with the other girl.
She knew that he’s only seeing her as a friend. (She hopes as a close friend.)
And she knew that he’ll be the first and last person she’ll love wholeheartedly.
He knew that she loves him.
He knew that he’s madly in-love with the other girl who already has a boyfriend.
He knew that he sees her as a friend. (No, she’s a close friend.)
And he knew that he’s the first and last person she’ll love.
It was wrong.
He was leading her on.
He was taking advantage of her.
It was sinful.
But he doesn’t care.
It was wrong.
She was just being used.
She was just a rebound.
It was wicked.
But she doesn’t care.
They were both blind.
He had been pinning for someone who doesn’t love him.
She had been pinning for someone who doesn’t love her.
They both can’t move forward.
But one act.
Just one act is all it takes for them to get by.
No matter how wrong it was.
It felt good.
So damn good.
To see him completely smitten with the girl who doesn’t even love him back.
It aches.
To realize that he won’t return the feelings that you have for him.
It kills.
To learn that he almost took his life when he couldn’t handle the pain.
That’s How You Get By
He’s changed.
He knows it. She knows it. Heck, everyone knows it.
He’s not the same fumbling boy anymore, and that’s what hurts her.
He’s gained this confident aura around him.
At first, she was happy for him, saying that he’s matured now.
But right now, she’s not sure if she’s still happy about it.
Before, he used to come to her for advice
But now, he makes his decision without even confiding it to her.
Before, he runs to her for help.
But now, he doesn’t even tell her that he’s in danger.
No.
Sawada Tsunayoshi isn’t the same Tsuna before.
He isn’t the Dame-Tsuna anymore.
Probably because of Reborn’s training.
Or because of the fights he had.
But he’s not the only one who’s changed.
Daidouji Rin has changed too.
She isn’t the shy Rin everyone knows.
Probably because of her newly-acquired friends.
Or because of him.
For 10 years, she’s been in-love with him.
For 10 long years she’s waiting for him to reciprocate her feelings.
But for 10 years, all she had is pain and heart ache.
For 10 years, he’s been smitten with her.
No. Maybe even longer.
But after all those years, all he had is heart ache and longing.
It’s not fair.
He’s been in-love with her for more than 10 years now.
He just met her 6 months ago.
And here they are, hand in hand.
It’s not fair.
She loved him ever since she laid eyes on him.
And the other girl doesn’t even glance his way.
And here he is, drinking his sorrows away.
She knew he wouldn’t love her.
She knew that he’s too in-love with the other girl.
She knew that he’s only seeing her as a friend. (She hopes as a close friend.)
And she knew that he’ll be the first and last person she’ll love wholeheartedly.
He knew that she loves him.
He knew that he’s madly in-love with the other girl who already has a boyfriend.
He knew that he sees her as a friend. (No, she’s a close friend.)
And he knew that he’s the first and last person she’ll love.
It was wrong.
He was leading her on.
He was taking advantage of her.
It was sinful.
But he doesn’t care.
It was wrong.
She was just being used.
She was just a rebound.
It was wicked.
But she doesn’t care.
They were both blind.
He had been pinning for someone who doesn’t love him.
She had been pinning for someone who doesn’t love her.
They both can’t move forward.
But one act.
Just one act is all it takes for them to get by.
No matter how wrong it was.
It felt good.
So damn good.
And by other girl, I mean Sasagawa Kyoko.
My writing style sucks.
I hate angstin' Tsuna-fish. And I so totally love the ending.
It's kinda dark and twisted and YOU reader guess what was the act they did.
I am that bad. :D
Date: July21, 2010
Time: 9:47 PM
Labels: Daidouji Rin, me time, Sawada Tsunayoshi, writing
• Vongola X ; 12:03 PM, Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Me Time: I Write.
Oho. Ahodera was shocked. But don't deny it, Takohedo. You loved it. :3
Yes, people. I write. All sorts of stuff. Ficlets. Drabbles. Oneshots. Drabblets. Multi-chaptered fics. You name it. But I am as lazy as hell and the plotbunnies are now on vacation. It's a miracle that I was able to make a oneshot last night. And I'll be posting it here. Enjoy. :3
“What was that, baka onna?”
Emerald and olive met.
Both won’t back down.
But then something unexpected happened.
That’ll teach them never to mess with each other.
Or did it?
Surprises
“Maa, maa, why won’t you two calm down?” Yamamoto Takeshi asked, grinning at the two people who are in a heated argument right now.
But then, those two people were stubborn as hell and won’t back down. And so, instead of listening to Yamamoto’s advice, they continued to shout insults at each other.
“You’re so frigging dumb, Ahodera. How many times do I have to tell you that I didn’t do it on purpose before your tiny brain can comprehend it?” Daidouji Rin snarled at the guy, her emerald eyes flashing.
“Urusai, baka onna! If I know, you deliberately tripped juudaime!” Gokudera Hayato yelled back, his ‘protect juudaime’ instincts kicking in.
Tsuna, the root of their argument, is looking like he was about to have a heart attack. It was just an accident. But Gokudera made a mountain out of a molehill, and hence the verbal war of Gokudera and Daidouji. “HIIIIII!!!!” said Tsuna, flustered. “Gokudera-kun, Rin-chan. Please stop fighting.”
Gokudera snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest and eyed Daidouji with distaste. “I’ll stop if she apologizes to you, juudaime, for tripping you, and to me for insulting me.”
“Cha! For a guy like you, you do have a big ego. There’s no way I’ll apologize to you, you dimwit!” Daidouji countered, throwing Gokudera a glare of her own. “To Tsuna maybe, but not to you!”
And the scenes after Daidouji’s words were almost surreal. Everything happened too fast. Lambo and I-Pin came inside Tsuna’s room, running. Lambo had the 10-year Bazooka (which Giannini modified and now lasts up to 10 minutes) aimed at I-Pin and threatening the hitman from Hong Kong that he’ll fire it at her, but due to Lambo’s innate clumsiness, the Bovino tripped. The bazooka flew out of his hand and towards Daidouji. Soon, pink smoke enveloped the room after an exploding sound. And when the smoke cleared out, it revealed a bewildered-looking Daidouji who’s wearing a white dress.
ll ll ll ll ll
To say that Daidouji felt sick while going through the tunnel was an understatement. She felt absolutely nauseous and she wanted to hurl so bad. And soon enough, she found herself standing beside the holder of the Sky Ring of Vongola. Loud murmurs echoed throughout the place and it caught Daidouji’s attention. She looked beside her and saw a wide-eyed Tsuna, who by the way is wearing a George Armani tux. She continued to scan her surroundings and she was able to deduce that she’s in the church, walking in the aisle. And it only meant one thing. She gasped. “Tsun-tsun! Am I going to get married to you?” she asked out loud, eyes wide.
“No! Rin-chan!” The 25-year-old Tsuna said, waving his hand in front of him for defense. “You got it all wrong!” he added.
Then suddenly, someone yanked her by her arm. Daidouji saw a furious-looking Gokudera, who by the way looked stunning in his Dolce suit. “Rin?! What the hell?!” Daidouji looked embarrassed for Gokudera had called her by her first name, and the girl could sense the concern radiating from the platinum-haired man.
But then, Daidouji wasn’t used on Gokudera holding her, and so she yanked her hand away from him and stammered, “C—cha! Ahodera! What the hell—?!” She could feel the people’s intense stare on her and she felt her cheeks burn from embarrassment. Just leave it to Lambo to publicly humiliate her. She’s gonna throttle the cow when she gets back.
The 25-year-old Storm Guardian of the Vongola Decimo stared hard at Daidouji before muttering, “Tch. 10-year Bazooka.” He then turned to the wielder of the Lightning Ring and made his way towards him. “Ahoshi! You freaking ruined my wedding day! You freaking bring my wife back before I stuff you inside the 10-year Bazooka!” he snarled at Lambo.
“W—what?! His wedding?” Daidouji gasped as she turned to Tsuna for answers. “I thought this is MY wedding.”
“Uh, well yes, Rin-chan.” Tsuna stated sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. “This is your wedding, and Gokudera-kun’s too. Well, you see… You two are getting married to each other.” The last sentence came out as a question rather than a statement. Even Tsuna felt reluctant to disclose that information to the younger version of Daidouji, seeing that she and Gokudera are each other’s throats when they were still young.
Daidouji’s eyes widened even more. She felt her energy being drained away from her. “W—what?” she choked out.
And in the background, Yamamoto’s laugh could be heard. “You’re so funny, Gokudera. Playing with Lambo in the middle your wedding.” His face split into a wide grin, in contrast to the priest in front of him who looks like he’s about to faint.
“Urusai, yakyu-baka!” Gokudera shouted at him, before turning back at Lambo and began throttling him again and shouted, “If something happens to my wife, I’m going to blow you up, ahoshi!”
And that was Daidouji’s cue to collapse. Her knees buckled and she’s now sitting on the church floor, staring at them with wide eyes. And that was Gokudera’s cue to run back to the younger version of his soon-to-be wife. And without any warning, Daidouji cried.
ll ll ll ll ll
“R—Rin-chan!”
“Ara? Rin-chan’s older sister?”
“D—daidouji?”
“Alala~ Give Lambo-san a candy.”
“Stop it, Lambo.”
Differents reactions were heard, but the most prominent amongst them was this:
“CHAAAA!!! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL AM I DOING IN HERE?”
It was from Daidouji.
“Oi, stop shouting, baka onna! You’re startling juudaime!”
“H—Hayato? What the hell happened to you? You shrunk!”
“Shrunk? You were hit by the 10-year Bazooka, idiot! You’re here in the past!”
“Don’t you idiot me, Hayato.”
“A—ah… Rin-chan, what are you wearing?”
“Oh this? It’s my wedding dress, Tsun-tsun. It looks good on me, right?”
“Ahaha, of course it does, Rin-chan’s older sister.”
“She’s not Daidouji’s older sister, yakyu-baka. She’s Daidouji! Oi, Daidouji, why the hell are you wearing that?”
“Ba—ka Hayato. Today’s my wedding day.”
“W—what? And why are you calling me by my first name?”
“Who are you marrying, Rin-chan?”
“Your right-hand man of course! And Takeshi’s the best man. You looked handsome in your Armani suit, Tsun-tsun.”
“WHAT THE FREAKING HELL? I AM GOING TO MARRY A STUPID WOMAN LIKE YOU?”
“OI, AHODERA, I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT THAT YOU WON’T CALL ME THAT ANYMORE—”
BOOM!
ll ll ll ll ll
As soon as the pink smoke vanished, Yamamoto, Tsuna and Gokudera saw a crying Daidouji. Tsuna was quick to rush to her side and ask what happened to her.
When Daidouji realized that she was back on her own time plane, she turned to Gokudera and pointed an accusing finger at him. “I won’t marry you even if you’re the last man on earth!” And with that she stormed out of the room.
“Like hell I would marry an ungraceful woman like you!” Gokudera retorted, glaring at the leaving form of Daidouji.
The both of them might’ve said that, but that was completely different from what they’re thinking right now. They were glad that in the future, everything worked out between them.
ll OMAKE ENDING ll
10 years from now
“Ahodera!” The older version of Daidouji shrieked as she pummeled her soon-to-be husband with punches. “I freaking hate your younger version! You can both go to hell! I won’t marry you anymore!”
“What the—? Baka onna! Stop! Stop punching me!” Gokudera said, shielding himself from Daidouji’s punches.
Tsuna sighed. He really wondered how this two got together, seeing as they’re both stubborn as hell and absolutely won’t back down.
Date: July 20, 2010
Time: 12:02 PM
Labels: Daidouji Rin, Gokudera Hayato, me time, writing
